Did I get your attention? The fact that the name of this blog makes me cringe probably says a lot. But I’m going to take a deep breath and move forward.
By the way, I looked up the meaning of the word “gasm” in the urban dictionary: “An exceedingly cool guy who makes girls orgasm by the wink of an eye. He is the embodiment of a “cool dood”. He has enormous muscles, is in a fraternity, and loves the number 69. He is often confused with the famous south park character, Eric Cartman. Most importantly the Gasm never forgets to “Finger Check”
His friends call him “Gasm”…. Im going for it.” http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Gasm.
Okay, give me a break.
I like this definition better from wiktionary; “Suffix
-gasm – Describing an intensely pleasurable experience or thing. An eyegasm. A nerdgasm.” https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/-gasm.
I think I finally came up with the title of my best selling book! “I Gasm?” I can just see it now! “Elizabeth Cermak gasms!” But omg what would my mom say?
Let’s talk about sex. This post is like exposure therapy for me. I am NOT a sex therapist. For me to write a post with even the word “sex” in it is a little bit like an outer-body experience. It freaks me out. But lets do it (in the road – I couldn’t resist).
I can’t speak for men, but many of us as women in this society fear our sexual energy. I mentioned before how in the book A Women’s Worth, Marianne Williamson says that the world is afraid of ecstatic women. An ecstatic woman is one with sexual energy.
In Warrior Goddess Training, HeatherAsh Amara talks about sexual energy as life energy. It is the energy that makes the flowers grow. It is the energy that keeps us alive. It is a beautiful thing. It doesn’t always have to be about sex. It’s about creativity, expression, being alive, gasms, if you will.
Sexual energy is spiritual energy. I can feel it listening to a spiritual talk. When I realize what it is, I feel like I could just shoot right up into the air and never come down. I feel powerful and well, ecstatic. People for years have been comparing their intense spiritual experiences to orgasms (and now I have used the word “orgasm” in my blog. Omg. Exposure therapy).
When healthy sex between two people occur, they are sending high vibrations out into the universe. Why would we be scared of this? Sex creates life and not just babies. Sex releases the highest of the high energy and lightens the heavy load the earth carries. It is okay. It is more than okay. It is right.
Sex releases. That is why it can cause people to cry after or laugh hysterically or go to sleep. So stay with me (yoga teachers I hope you are reading). I think yoga can be like sex! I hope anyone from my yoga class who is reading isn’t scared to be next to me now! Or maybe you are wanting to learn more!
Well, yoga isn’t exactly like sex. I mean yoga can be rather painful. It’s not totally always enjoyable. Sometimes I’m borderline miserable. I HOPE sex isn’t like this for any of my readers. If it is, I can refer you to a good sex therapist who is not me.
For me, yoga creates a life energy that tingles (sometimes shoots) throughout my entire body. Yoga teachers say that we carry a lot of emotion in our hips. So when we are doing hip openers (basically hip stretches) in yoga, the teachers say some strong emotions can arise.
Now, no offense to my yoga teachers, but I always thought this sounded a little woo-woo, too new-agey for me. Emotion that needs to be released from my hips? Whatever. Where’s my child’s pose?
But I had an experience the other week that changed me. I was in the ever-so-popular pigeon pose, (see picture below) and my teacher pushed my limits. She made me stretch further forward and down to the earth and stay in the pose longer.
When my teacher made me stretch further, the only emotion I felt was somewhat intense rage for her. Okay not rage, but it HURT. As I backed out of it, went back in the pose, and then relaxed into it further, something crazy happened. I had a release of emotion that was almost….orgasmic (there I go again). And as I heard the Hare Krishna song playing in the background, I had an overwhelming range of emotions come over me.
I cried. I was glad my head was down, because I felt a little crazy. Not everyone was sharing in this same experience. Although I am sure others have had it. I don’t cry every time I do pigeon.
Even as I write this though, I feel emotional. I feel I have to give my awesome yoga teachers a big shout out here. There has been so much I have wanted to say for what you have done for me in just the past 7 months, but I haven’t been able to express it in words. I <3 yoga 4ever just doesn’t seem to do it justice. I had a yoga-gasm.
Well, I guess everyone who reads this will sign up for yoga tomorrow. And maybe I will have done my teeny tiny part in making the world a better place.
In that pigeon pose, I was releasing everything and giving it to God through my body. I was melting into the earth. I was bowing to the greatness. I was transformed, a new woman, a disciple to the divine, a yogi.
My body tingles as I write about it. Maybe I am crazy. As Stuart Smalley on SNL says, “And that’s…OKAY”. Maybe after I publish this, the Illinois Department of Regulation will knock on my door and revoke my counseling license. That’s a risk I am willing to take. I declare war on judgment and fear, most of all, my own. I declare war on my own uptight-ness. And she’s a bitch.
I was taking a nap today and while falling asleep, I had this vision of me completely releasing my body into a beautiful forward fold with my knees flat against my chest. The release felt so good, and I had that ecstatic feeling all over again in my dream.
I just turned 39. And I have this hidden energy pushing me to do something before I turn 40. I want a change in this next year. I want to be 40 and more amazing than ever. I want to be able to do that forward fold.
I haven’t figured it out yet. I am not sure if the complete forward fold is what I’m looking for (I’m not even close by the way). I just know I want to feel more of that energy. I want to stay in touch with God. I want to be touched by God. I want to feel the life energy of the world. I want to be an ecstatic woman. And if Marianne is right, and the world will be scared of me, then so be it. I have been scared of myself for long enough. I will no longer make myself small so the world can be comfortable.
After I reflect on this post, I realize that this blog post is what I want for my 39th year. I don’t want to be afraid anymore. I want to be real. I want to be me. I want to not worry what anyone thinks. Thank you for helping me. My 39th year awaits, and the winds are changing.
I must not be the only one here. Please write below and tell me about a spiritually orgasmic experience you have had. Don’t leave out any juicy details. Romance novelists wanted. Maybe it was an encounter with a sunset, or a piece of chocolate cake after a sugar detox, or the feeling of aliveness you received from growing your own potatoes (Ringo Starr had that one). Or maybe you saw Paul McCartney live for the first time…I couldn’t help myself. 😉
Peace, Love, and Cosmic-Gasms for all,
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Flickr, Creative Commons: Seniju, Yoga.https://www.flickr.com/photos/seniju/15915811072/in/photolist-qfqG8J-nXiEeo-nEu1r2-nkDLty-nBf9PQ-nBVwkC-8Ma3d2-njpchY-nqiYZW-fAzQA5-c9Td5Y-nD335t-nDjjn9-nmdhpb-nCtUaf-okZRxV-7J9Mmm-nDjj4o-5RUFDw-BsyhK-bXZMv5-4MZgC6-ojfqvh-nDjYdR-fsKbUf-nD7cxE-nBVgL7-qkS9dE-fsv5gR-fsuumK-fsvaw2-fsJX4S-fsJxXY-fsJTsG-fsJDFE-fsuFyV-fsJKVC-fsuo1B-fsJwd1-fsuZDv-fsK56b-iNrKmc-mK3bo-6EoD9s-5MNAAh-4H9QgM-aK3BX-897FiX-om5ttN-fsJQUw
Flickr, Creative Commons: Amy, Pigeon Pose. https://www.flickr.com/photos/jirsy/11711297783/in/photolist-7yWLxm-iQTsPi-ejpF7R-7MchfC-5uTkwW-eB6e5Q-59xTLA-9FSShs-9FPMX8-5BmDYB-9enLHn-5uP1qZ-pp675w-7NoBpP-dMd8Fn-duB1Sm-dGZ5ig-4Q2VVW-ay2mfe-pmnkD2-anWv6j-4BDrgb-vrqpgv