(Photo Credit: Flickr, Creative Commons, PROMarcos de Madariag, El alma que hablar puede con los ojos, también puede besar con la mirada.)
I have not published a blog in a while. I wrote a few blogs. Then I was scared to publish them. And then I stopped writing.
Bare with me please, because this is all connected…
I have not been able to sleep lately. I see a holistic health practitioner who is trying to help me. We are looking for physical, hormonal, even emotional reasons for this insomnia.
As I was up the other night at 3am wide awake, a thought came to me. A Course in Miracles says every problem is a spiritual problem. It also says every problem is the same problem, which is your perceived separation from God. So I decided to look at my sleep problem as a spiritual problem. How is my lack of proper sleep a separation from God? And then the answer came to me.
Writing. I have stopped writing. Of course I can’t sleep. I need to write again. That is my way of plugging into The Universe. It keeps me inspired and connected to The Divine. When I stopped writing (due to fear), I cut that connection off.
There was too much going on in the world, and I was afraid to say anything. I was keeping it all in. That’s bad for my spirit. It’s bad for yours too.
Marianne Williamson said in one of her talks that a woman has to be 80% sure of the facts before she says something. A man has to be something like 25% sure of his facts. I don’t know where that research came from, but any woman I share this with says, “Yeah, that sounds about right.”
(Photo Credit: Flickr Creative Commons, Johnny Silvercloud, Never Speaking Up)
As a woman, I have been afraid to talk. I have been afraid of sounding stupid. I have been afraid of being laughed at. I have been afraid of offending someone. I have been afraid of being wrong.
I know men are afraid of these things too, but specifically, things are different, because I am a woman.
The blogs I wrote that I never published were a bit darker than what I normally write. I wrote these blogs before the 2016 presidential election results. I did not think they had anything to do with the presidential election at the time, but looking back, I know they did.
My unpublished blogs were about many shadows that I was experiencing. I was afraid maybe I was depressed and should not expose myself in that way.
But I know now that yeah, I was depressed. So what? I am a natural being and part of The Whole that is this natural world, and there have been a lot depressing things going on. So yes, I feel it.
There is something they say about light. Light is a powerful disinfectant. The first thing you do in a dusty attic is open the blinds to let some light in. Only then, do things get cleaned up. I think that is true for ourselves, our country, and and our world right now.
Please as a woman or man, speak your mind about what is going on in the country and world. Everyone gets so uncomfortable when someone mentions politics or religion. But maybe that is what is wrong with us. We sweep it under the rug. Bring it out to the light. Don’t be afraid of being wrong. Don’t be afraid to listen to other’s opinions. Be brave. Don’t only talk with those who agree with you. Have these difficult conversations. It is okay to disagree. It is okay to make a mistake.
There is a lot of talk right now about the injustice of systemic racism and oppression in our country. These are conversations that need to happen. We need to listen to the opinions of all races. We even need to hear the opinions that offend us or scare us. We need to know how people feel. It is the silent racism that can be even more dangerous and oppressive.
We are all living under the invisible veil of racism in our society. No one can escape it. This is not to blame or point fingers or call names. It’s to name it what it is. It’s time our eyes are wide open to this. It’s time to look deep inside ourselves as well.
And it’s time to speak our truth.
Finishing up on this Thanksgiving weekend, I have many things for which to be thankful (see pictures below). I am learning to surrender my judgments to God more and more everyday (somedays better than ever), and I am changed. I still feel the ups and downs of the world, but I am more rooted in what is real. This is giving me the strength to continue to have these conversations, to continue to write, to continue to live, to continue to be happy, to continue to cry, to continue to get mad, to continue to speak up for what I believe is right, to continue to have faith and hope, and to continue to love.
Peace, Love, and Speak Up,
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