Do you feel stuck?
Do you want to just finally effing move forward in life, but something is holding you back?
So many times when I ask my clients what obstacles they run into when obtaining their goals, they tell me their biggest obstacle is…..drum roll…..you guessed it,….. themself.
Isn’t that the truth? We block ourselves from our own success. We keep ourselves small. We let our fear take over.
So if your biggest obstacle is yourself, how do you defeat yourself?
Haha. I am kidding. We do NOT want to defeat ourselves! We want to start becoming our own best friend and our own parent instead of our own best enemy. THAT is how we bypass the obstacle of holding our own self back.
Click below to watch the video, or just keep reading!
So if the person in your life who you love the most had this problem, what would you tell him/her to do? The answer is easy when you look at it that way. We need to care for ourselves as we do the other people who care about.
We are going to take this to an even deeper level today though. It seems that everyone now is aware that we have these subconscious beliefs and thought patterns that hold us back. Today we are going to identify and uncover some of the things that we might have needed to hear when we were younger but did not hear them. We are going to not only work on becoming our own best friend but our own parent, teacher, mentor. You will learn to care for yourself like you need to be cared for.
Most of us needed to hear things when we were younger that we did not hear. Let me be clear, this is not about blame. This is not to say that it’s our parents fault for not telling us what we needed to hear when we were young, and now we are screwed. That is wrong. We are not victims. Nobody heard exactly what they needed to hear as a child. We are all human beings doing the best we can. Parents do the best they can with what they have. A child is not able to tell their parent/teachers/friends/society exactly what they need to hear. But we are no longer children. We can take responsibility for what we need in order to make our lives better.
You may have heard of inner child work, a psychology term. This is work you can do with a therapist or even a coach who knows about this type of work. It is about telling your inner child what they need to hear and becoming the parent you always needed. It is a beautiful feeling to love and care for yourself in this way.
Here is a journal exercise for you! Take 3 deep breaths and get relaxed. Let tensions go. Let a time come to you when you were upset as a child. What was happening? How did you feel? What did you need to hear to heal in this situation?
There is really no right or wrong answers, so whatever memory you have is the one you should go with! Whatever pops in your mind first is fine. This is not about giving it a lot of thought.
You can also just think of an overall uncomfortable feeling that you had as a child. What did you need to hear to be able to let that feeling go?
I will give you my example. A time that comes up for me is going to ballet class. I was scared. Fear and anxiety ran my life from the time I was small, so I remember dreading dance class and just being scared and uncomfortable even though I loved dance. I didn’t tell anyone that I was scared and uncomfortable though. So what did I need to hear?
“You are brave. You are strong.”
How many little girls hear, “You are brave. You are strong”? I don’t think it is the first thing we think to tell little girls. And I probably did hear it somewhat, but I needed to hear it A LOT! I needed it tattooed on my forehead.
Now that I am an adult, I know this, so I can tell it to myself.
You are brave.
You are strong.
I am not going to tattoo it on my forehead, but maybe I’ll tattoo it somewhere else! Once I was able to uncover those phrases and tell them to myself, I was able to move forward and do things that I did not think were possible!
Remember a belief is just a thought you think over and over again. It gets ingrained in your subconscious. So we
need to practice these new beliefs over and over again so they become part of our subconscious. If I just tell myself,
You are brave.
You are strong.
one time. What do you think will happen? In one ear, out the other. Just like when I was a child. Even though people probably did say that to me from time to time, I needed it to become a part of me.
It needs to become a mantra. Write what you need to hear 20 times a day. Practice telling it to yourself every hour. Do what you need to do to convince yourself that it is true. Because it IS true if you want it to be.
Now you know how to get our of your own way. Be your best parent!
This is YOUR life. The world is YOUR playground. Your mind is YOUR friend. Only YOU can give yourself what you need in order to move forward, do well, claim your beautiful life, and make a difference in this world.
If you want to work with a coach who knows about inner child work, please contact me! I will help you uncover what you need to hear in order to get unstuck and claim your beautiful life!
And I hope you enjoyed my flower pictures in this blog! I am so excited and happy that it is time to beat anxiety and stress by getting our hands in the dirt! I’m ready to plant! Nature heals! Here are a couple other unique ones I found that I would love to share! Do I have any gardeners out there?
Peace and Love,